I think one valuable lesson that I have learned so far in my teaching career is that things, decisions, and/or consequences aren't always black and white. While there are incidents where there is a definite 'right' and a definite 'wrong', there are also several gray areas that I think teachers oftentimes ignore. Now don't get me wrong, I am definitely one for consistency in my classroom, along with enforcing the rules that have been setup. But, I think there are times when one can bend the rules for special circumstances:
I have a student (who I will call Lucy) who has really been a struggle to work with this year. Lucy and I don't always see eye-to-eye on regular classroom rules, manners, and attitudes. However, Lucy is going through some tough things at home right now, as one of her parents is struggling in the battle against cancer. Her parent has spent a substantial amount of time in the hospital due to the problematic combination of chemotherapy/pneumonia. Lucy, obviously, is struggling herself with all that is going on at home, which is being reflected in her schoolwork, her homework, and her attitude at school. Lucy is in my homeroom class and my reading class, but travels to other teachers for math, science, and social studies.
Recently, Lucy has not been bringing back her homework since she has been going back and forth to the hospital so much. (Note: I am not complaining about my team teachers at all - they are amazing to work with) I am very disappointed in how some of Lucy's other teachers refuse to acknowledge her special situation, as they tally up her missing assignments and give her zeroes on her unfinished work. That is their policy. That is what they will follow. And "come hell or high water", that is what they are going to stick with.
It is times like this that really make me question myself, my teaching capabilities, and my teaching philosophies: "Am I too nice or too understanding?", "Does Lucy need to learn that although 'life happens', she needs to still follow up on her responsibilities?", "Am I hindering her 'learning experiences' by being a little more lenient on her work?", "Do I need to toughen up and demand her work to be turned in?", "Will failing grades help her understand that she better shape up?"
Having a parent who has survived cancer, I feel like Lucy and I have an unspoken bond...maybe that is why I am quick to be understanding. Having a parent battle cancer was tough enough for me away in college - I can't imagine being in elementary school and going home to that struggle every day. It is completely understandable why Lucy is struggling in school; who cares about school, when so much is happening at home? But still, that lingering question, "Am I being too nice?" bounced around...until last week:
Lucy, once again, forgot her spelling packet, her grammar workbook, and her reading homework. With her head down, Lucy came up to me before class began to tell me what I already knew. We stepped out into the hallway for more privacy, and Lucy mumbled, "...I forgot my homework again...sorry". It was getting to be a habit, hearing this line from Lucy, while tears streamed quietly down her face. However, on this day, I responded a little differently:
"Lucy, I know you are going through a really rough time at home right now, and I completely understand. So, I want to let you know that I am not going to be marking down any more of your assignments that are late. You get them done when you can, and if you ever need help, you just let me know. And I hope more than anything that your [parent] gets better soon."
I said all of this to the top of Lucy's head, as she was staring down at the floor. However, after a few seconds, Lucy looked up at me. Once again, tears were streaming quietly down her face. But this time, the tears were streaming over a small, but growing, smile. The look of appreciation in Lucy's moist eyes was something I will never forget. Ever.
Sure, I was probably going to have to grade some late papers, and yes, I may have to stay in at recess a time or two to ensure that Lucy understood her schoolwork...but isn't that what a teacher is for? Isn't that what the job is all about? The last time I checked, "convenience" wasn't the top priority of a good teacher...
Yes, I strive to be someone who consistently enforces rules - but I am not a drill sergeant or a robot without emotion. And yes, there is a goal and finish line that I am trying to get all my students to cross by the end of the year - but sometimes the path they are on isn't the easiest or most "convenient" one because life got in the way. And don't those kids deserve a second chance? Don't they deserve to be successful, too?
I am their GPS. I am their guide. I am their cheerleader on the sidelines rooting them on. I am the runner next to them in case they stumble and need help standing back up.
I am their teacher.
